Thoughts and ideas are some of the most powerful gifts we have as human beings. Our minds are what fuel us to do all of the amazing things we do and are capable of. Our minds know no boundaries!
In the same token, our amazing minds can also be detrimental at times, especially when negative thinking overpowers us and gets in the way of making progress or taking action around something we deep down truly want.
I myself have suffered from all of these at one point or another (and still sometimes do) yet have the mental strength now to work through it in a healthy way. Consider what you may deal with and how you can approach your negative thoughts in a more constructive way. Here are five common negative thoughts and themes I see come up frequently with clients:
Negative Thought #1 - "I’m not good enough." As long as this thought occupies space in your mind, it will continue to hold you back. Thinking you’re not good enough for something — whether it’s a new career, a promotion, or a relationship — will stop you in your tracks from taking any step toward what you really want. If you don’t believe you’re worthy of something, it will be difficult for others to believe you are too. Think about all the awesome things about yourself that do make you worthy and good enough. Yep - you deserve it!
Negative Thought #2. "What will they think?" All too often, we make decisions based on what others think. We worry incessantly about everyone else’s opinions and can let this creep into our decision-making process. The harm in this is that when we make decisions based on others' opinions and points of view, we are living out a life in accordance to them versus our own. Over time, you start to lose sight of what is important to YOU and what you truly value. The reality is, there will always be an opinion on how you live or what you choose to do, no matter what. So why not live life on your terms?
Negative Thought #3. "Someday." Maybe you want something — like to start a side business, start a family, or date again. But we hold ourselves up from having what we want and tell ourselves... “Someday." Because sometimes it just doesn't feel like the right time. At at times, it's not. But a lot of the time, the "someday" thinking is based out of fear or a lack of motivation to make a change that we know will make us happier in the long run. Life is typically never perfect to live out that dream - there will be sacrifices, there may be some pain with that growth, and at times it might be straight up difficult. "Someday" thinking keeps us stagnant, and every day that goes by is one day less we have to go for what we want. Why not take a baby stem towards what you want, today versus someday?
Negative Thought #5. "Why me?" Sometimes life really freaking sucks. I myself have been through my fair share of trauma, and I'll admit from time to time I think "why me?" and the reality is, there's sometimes no great explanation. That being said, you do have a choice. You can decide to work through the pain and move forward, or you can choose to stay low and create a victim mentality. As Tony Robbins has said: “Life happens FOR you.” You decide what to make of life’s circumstances, and if you take this a step further, you will embrace and be grateful for all the shit that’s come up in your life. It’s what’s made the person you are today, and you get to decide if you want to be a victim or be someone who’s come out way better on the other side for having endured it. And I can promise, when you own the pain you've been through, you DO come out that much stronger, wiser, and resilient in this life. You might even help out others along their journey, too.
Negative Thought #5. It’s impossible. I can’t tell you how many people I come across who think something is impossible, that is indeed, very possible. Like, it’s impossible to meet a good guy, or it’s impossible to switch careers with my experience, or it’s impossible to make THAT kind of money. It’s only impossible because that’s the bar you’ve set for yourself — a bar you’ve decided is too far out of reach! If you get creative and stay persistent, you will find that there is always a way. So yes, it IS possible.
What other thoughts are holding you back and how can you change your thinking about them?